A unique take on the gay marriage debate

It comes from an unlikely source: a rules question sent in by a player of the game Magic: the Gathering. (Page down to the bottom, to the last question.) It's a joke, obviously, and a hilarious one, to someone who plays the game. I've annotated the question and answer to explain terms that the casual reader won't know, so that everyone can understand.

Q: I was playing in a multiplayer game with some friends of mine recently. One player played a proxy of the Richard Garfield unique card Proposal (used by the game's creator to propose marriage to his girlfriend) to propose to his girlfriend. I played Spelljack (a card that counters another player's spell and lets you play it later) to remove it from the game. On my turn I used Mindslaver (a card that lets you make all decisions for a player on his next turn), targeting the player who had originally attempted to propose. On his turn, I played the Spelljacked Proposal using Vedalken Orrery (a card that lets you play a card like Proposal on another player's turn), and since I make all decisions for that player, I had him accept my proposal and we become engaged to be married. We've set a date, but at this time there is some question as whether our marriage will be recognized by our state's constitution, which states that marriage is a relationship between one man and one woman. I understand that a previous ruling stated that the laws of local governments supersede the Magic Comprehensive Rules and DCI Floor Rules, but I am allowed by law to appeal constitutional matters and disputes with state governments to the Supreme Court, who may in turn overturn laws made at the state and federal level. My question is, does the Proposal resolve, does it remain on the stack (a game term representing spells and effects waiting to resolve) until the Supreme Court makes their final decision, or does it fizzle because our male/male union is currently outlawed by state law? Does it matter at all if the issue is on the Supreme Court docket for their next session? If this were a sanctioned tournament, would we be granted a time extension for the round until the Supreme Court had made a decision? --John F.

A: No, the Proposal does not wait for the Supreme Court. As I understand it, it's the marriage, not the engagement that your local laws prohibit. Unless your local laws prohibit engagements, you should be fine legality-wise. It doesn't matter what's on the docket for the Supreme Court until you have to worry about your nuptials.

Additionally, I'll note that Proposal mentions "Richard" and "Lily" by name, so unless your middle name is Richard, or perhaps Lily, and your friend's name is the other, Proposal isn't going to work for you.

As for sanctioned events, the DCI is pursuing sanctioned multiplayer formats, but they still don't allow proxies, so your friend's copy of Proposal isn't going to work.