Cringe

"Dungeons and dragons is not just for a bunch of beardy boys in a basement, it's for everybody and anybody."



So says the BBC with a cringeworthy video from, I don't know, one of their journalists?



Let's skip the video for a moment and talk about the comic strip Knights of the Dinner Table, which focuses on role-playing groups playing a game a lot like 1st edition AD&D. In the main group, harried DM B.A. has to run a game to capture the interests of munchkin Dave, hack-and-slasher Bob, role-player Sara, and rules lawyer Brian. For some reason, this group of players stays together, despite their differences. Maybe it's friendship. What they don't do is exclude others.



This fictional group resonates with role-playing gamers. They know, or know of, people like these characters. Perhaps they put up with people like them, or perhaps they try to avoid them.



The good thing about D&D is that it's just a rules set. It can handle many different styles of play. If a player doesn't like that the other players shoot first and ask questions later, there's always another group. If a player doesn't like the DM's campaign world where there are no monsters, just misunderstood creatures, there's always another group. If a player doesn't like how every NPC is described like they're in a Frazetta painting, there's always another group.



At a large convention like Gen Con, I've played team tournaments entirely focused on combat and tactics, where good rules knowledge and a bit of luck is required to succeed. I've played ongoing campaigns where the primary focus is on building your own character. And I've played events with pregenerated characters, with an emphasis on role-playing and interaction with the other characters, where it's common for the players to never leave the first encounter of the adventure. All of these styles of gaming are supported with the same D&D rules set.



Now, let's go back to the video in the link. I wager that more than 90% of the people who talk about exclusion were never actually excluded. I've played for most of my life, in both home groups and organized play, and almost everyone has been eager for more people to play, and supportive of newcomers. I'd also wager that, for people of the appropriate age, they were more likely to be the excluders (calling role-playing games childish or nerdy) than the excluded.



That said, there's an important thing to remember. You can't expect every person to like you. In my experience, D&D groups can be cliquish. Some people rub each other the wrong way. I know I didn't get along with everyone who shared this wonderful hobby. But I moved on, persevered, and found people who became some of my best friends.



Remember, there's always another group.