Conspiracy alert!

You must read Waiter Rant. He's uncovered the secret conspiracy whose tentacles encircle all elements of American society.

“Sugar, fat, and salt are what make going out to eat enjoyable,” I say. “Trust me.”
“It’s true,” Georgie says, “The food in restaurants always tastes better than what you make at home.”
“It’s cabal between chefs, doctors, and pharmaceutical companies,” I whisper. “Let’s turn Americans into fat, toothless, high blood pressured diabetics so they can spend billions on health care and we can buy yachts.”
“Now I know you’re paranoid,” Georgie says.
“It’s all bread and circuses!” I crow. “Just before Rome fell the elites kept the populace fat, happy, and distracted from what was really going on.”
“We don’t feed people to the lions anymore,” Georgie says.
“No,” I reply, “Now we have Reality TV and fast food.”