You must read Waiter Rant. He's uncovered the secret conspiracy whose tentacles encircle all elements of American society.
“Sugar, fat, and salt are what make going out to eat enjoyable,” I say. “Trust me.”
“It’s true,” Georgie says, “The food in restaurants always tastes better than what you make at home.”
“It’s cabal between chefs, doctors, and pharmaceutical companies,” I whisper. “Let’s turn Americans into fat, toothless, high blood pressured diabetics so they can spend billions on health care and we can buy yachts.”
“Now I know you’re paranoid,” Georgie says.
“It’s all bread and circuses!” I crow. “Just before Rome fell the elites kept the populace fat, happy, and distracted from what was really going on.”
“We don’t feed people to the lions anymore,” Georgie says.
“No,” I reply, “Now we have Reality TV and fast food.”