Weiner's Wienergate

It's a story that, were it the plot of a television series, you'd think it too silly. A sitting congressman takes a picture of his tented underwear, and tries to send it to a young woman across the country via Twitter. Only, he types the wrong thing, and everyone following him gets it. And then, he makes a whole bunch of unconvincing denials. He claims to have been hacked (but without losing control of his accounts). The requisite shot of him out with his recent wife, looking happy, naturally follows as well.

This congressman holds reprehensible views and should be kicked out of office for that reason. Still, as a kindhearted person, I'll offer some free advice on making a more reasonable denial.

"That is not a picture of me." Simple, direct.

His wife: "Other than my husband, I know better than anyone what type of underwear he wears. And that is not it."

But saying you're not sure? Do you regularly take pictures of yourself in your underwear? Do you have a collection of crotch shots like that?

Now, the best theory comes from the millionaire playboy of the Actuarial Outpost:

Weiner is gay. This is a cover for all that.

Weiner is married to some hot Persian (?) chick who was Hillary Clinton's constant companion in the past. Anyone think Hillary is straight? Didn't think so.

The marriage is a scam, and this instance of hyper-heterosexuality is more cover. This guy has h-o-m-o written all over him.

Well, that would explain why he follows porn stars as well.